Little Pieces

You ripped my soul straight from my body
Grabbed at my entrails and yanked
You pulled and pulled until I had nothing
You showed me the blood that remained
You ignored my outcries
You ignored my youth
You ignored my innocence
My tempest tossed naivety

You dug your nails into my flesh
You feigned respect
You grabbed and pulled
You stole my little pieces

The pieces of my childhood
The pieces of my self respect
The pieces of my sanity
The pieces of my purity
The pieces of my sexuality

You did all this
No one but you
Yet I’ve been the one suffering
I’ve been curled in a bath of my own blood
Desecrating my self worth
Abandoning my strength
A sobbing fetus curled in bilious tears

You took from inside me
You stole my little pieces
You asked if you could have all of me

When I denied you took
You took and you still demand
You demand I give you a chance
You demand I listen to your repentance

The doubt
The fear
The disgust
The shame
The desperation
The loss

For years it is I who has pushed it aside
Struggled to be undefined
Undefined as the victim

But I am
I must allow myself to be
To feel these feelings
To admit what has been done
Or I will never be anything but
The undeniable victim

And I want to be the survivor.

You took my little pieces
How dare you ask for more
When you took all of me?

Context: I wrote this at 18, my freshmen year of college when Will was “repenting” and demanding my forgiveness. When Will was trying to get me to be with him and I was trying to accept for the first time in years what had happened.

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